Blog-it-out

From Couch Lock to Creativity: Overcoming Neurodivergent Challenges

Valerie J Dana

So you thrive on routine, especially in the work setting. You find the perfect job for that, working Home Health. Only that ‘stability’ can change in the blink of an eye and then your perfect little bubble pops. The individual you were caring for is whisked away to the hospital and you’re lucky if your employer can find you another case, especially a consistent one.

Without your constant routine your world starts to fall apart. You become couch locked. Start neglecting the things you enjoy; writing, reading, even working on your Podcast with your best friend. It all begins to feel like a chore. One you no longer want to do because your mother told you, you had to thanks to Pathological Demand Avoidance.

So now while you’ve out of work for weeks, you sit around wasting that time you could be working on your upcoming novel, or creating content for TikTok or your other socials, or editing one of the episodes you already have recording for your Podcast. Instead you curl inside yourself. Unable to decide what to do, choosing to binge K-dramas and dreaming of a life that only comes with lots and lots and lots of hard work and dedication. Something you’re sorely lacking because you’re neurodivergent and have entered AuDHD Paralysis.

That’s been my life for the past month.

I’m trying so hard to use this time when I’m not working to work on my other projects. Like doing the last round of edits to Wyvern King so I can get it out to beta readers. Or making related content for TikTok to promote my book and this self-publishing journey. Let’s not forget all the time I have to be reading the books my best friend and I want to discuss on our Podcasts.

It’s been two weeks since I started Brimstone, the second book in the Quicksilver series that we’ve already started discussing on our Podcast. While my co-host is half way through the series, I’m still stuck on chapter 3. Not that the book isn’t good, but because I can’t focus on it. I’m too locked in on my life falling apart because my 9-5 is failing me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing things to make sure this doesn’t happen again, but in my field there’s a lot of onboarding. Not to mention I’m moving to a different city in a couple of months so starting a new job just to leave doesn’t sit well with me. I know a lot of people do it, but the autistic side of me can’t wrap its little head around it. I would much rather start fresh in the new city. I just need to make it till my regular person gets out of the hospital so I can care for them 50+ hours a week while I get back on track.

I wish I had some grand advice how to get over this kind of block. I can offer websites I’ve found with suggestions, some I have been using, but currently I’m still struggling on the doom squad. It gets a little easier each day.

A few years ago I struggled bad with my depression. I let it consume me instead of pushing through. For me, it’s worked to tell myself I’m allowed to have one day to be in my feelings. To address them and let them go. It works in this case as well as I know it’s not just my neurodivergence I’m fighting here. It’s both fighting inside my head to see who can take control.

This too shall pass. Just like every other similar incident. I can’t dwell on things I cannot change. The past is in the past and in order to keep it there I need to look to the future. It can change but I need to put forth the effort. I can’t sit around waiting for it to change. I need to be the change.

So little by little I’m getting back into the routines that don’t involve my 9-5. I need to keep posting content, keep editing Wyvern King – especially when I’m so close to being able to get it out to my beta readers. All these things with dedication could help build my savings back up so when emergencies like this happen I’m not stressing over how I’m going to put food on my table.

I don’t want pity. I just want others going through it to know they’re not alone. Everyone has bad days, weeks, months, even years. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure because you spent that time couch locked unable to think about what to do next. Don’t beat yourself up. Just get up, dust off the crumbs and start fresh. And remember, baby steps are okay! Do a little at a time. Come on, we’ll do it together.

Overcoming Challenges as a Self-Published Author

Valerie J Dana

What to expect from me going forward . . .

I have dreams. Big dreams. Dreams I have been working hard to achieve for the past five years when I put all my time and effort into writing Hidden World: Blood & Magick. In that time I haven’t been putting much effort into anything that would help promote the book I already have published or the one I’m working on as I should.

It’s true when they say that writing is the easy part! Anyone can write a book. Producing a successful book is another story. You need an editor, a book cover designer, beta readers, arc readers, and most importantly you need to promote, promote, promote!!

That’s where I’m struggling hard. After working 40+ hours a week I’m exhausted and really only have the mental capacity to work on editing my next novel (Wyvern King). Doing anything else makes me feel like I’ve wasted valuable time I could be editing/writing.

Not that I don’t try to work on marketing. I have spent days scouring Pinterest for inspirating for my novels, saving photos to make reels for TikTok, Instagram, or FB. Yet I haven’t posted many.

I also started a YouTube channel with my best friend and editor, Andrea C Knapp, called Word Counts & Wingspans where we discuss the current books we’re reading as well as a segment where we discuss our own hardships in our self-publishing journey. Of course this little project has consumed more of my time as someone needs to edit the videos. Not to mention all the research that goes into it, both the reading and writing portion of our podcast.

With all that said, it’s time to buckle down!

Which means I’ll be putting out weekly blog posts with behind the scenes and updates on my writing journey. I plan to shift my FB page so it’s more reading/writing centered to get more followers. I’ll also be posting more TikTok’s and images/reels to my Insta.

Of course I say all of that, but I’m horrible about sticking to a plan. I blame my AuDHD. I can be hyper focused on a task; such as spending a whole day going down the Pinterest rabbit hole looking for images that make me think of Wyvern King and even make some reels up, but when it comes to sharing them it’s a whole other story. And that comes from a deep seated fear brought on by years of trauma.

I’m sure I’m not the only one dealing with this, but I have been picked on most of my life for the things I enjoy. I know it’s gentle teasing and a lot of it was not said or done with any malicious intent, but as I mentioned I have AuDHD and sometimes my brain struggles with sarcasm and truth.

As a result I’m scared to post anything to any of my pages out of fear that my friends and family might tease me. I know it’s silly and completely irrational. It’s also why I don’t talk about my novels as much as I should out in public.

I’m working on that though. Despite everything I plan to post more and forget the haters, at least the true haters. If a friend says something with any malicious intent, then I know they’re not truly friends. A lesson I have been learning a lot over the past five years as well. I have cut people (friends and family) out of my life who aren’t good for my mental health. Those who are still in my life have been nothing but supportive of my dreams and ambitions even if it’s not something their a fan of. They’re the real MVPs! Friends that are basically family. People I’ll never forget for as long as I live, especially when I do make it big.

My Journey as a Self-Published Author

Valerie J Dana

It’s been a crazy couple of years for me.

What am I talking about? It’s been a crazy life for me.

Close to three years ago (2023) I packed up my life and moved five hundred miles away from everything I knew. Leaving behind my family and friends to start over in a new state. It was the scariest thing I ever did (they do say that if it scares you, then you’re on the right path).

https://amzn.to/43XgjCt

That wasn’t the only life changing event for me that year. I also released my debut novel. Finally obtaining the achievement of published author (self-published, but published none-the-less and A LOT more painstaking than traditional).

On my 40th birthday I released Hidden World: Blood & Magick.

Now I knew this novel wasn’t going to be a best seller. I loved it, but I knew it was lacking I just couldn’t pinpoint where (I believe I have now and am debating pulling it to fix it).

Why release my debut if it’s not top tier? Especially when your debut is supposed to help you build trust with your readers.

Well, let me tell you. I’m more of a hands on learner. I can read millions of books on self-publishing and marketing and works but never retain the information (blame it on years of mental abuse and trauma). In other words, I needed to do it myself to understand it better. So the release of my debut was more of a science experiment for myself.

For not pushing a lot of marketing I still had a decent first month. I didn’t make thousands in sales, but I did make a couple hundred. For little to no marketing, I was pleased. I even racked up several good reviews. This little bit of good feedback was enough to push me even harder on my upcoming novel Wyvern King.

If they liked Hidden World. They’re going to Love Wyvern King. While I put my heart in soul in HW, I learned between my debut and now and I have been putting all of that in WK. I truly believe if I stick to promoting this novel will be my best seller. It has everything it needs to be a good read; fated mates, shadow daddy, touch her and die, one bed, secret royalty . . .

Unlike HW, I know this world inside and out. Maybe it’s because HW came from a story I wrote back in high school (we’re talking twenty years ago) but I wasn’t as invested in the world as I have been with WK. I connect with the characters a little better and as a result they’ve helped me mold themselves and the world better.

I don’t know how many times I’ve told my editor that my one character, Magnus just takes over ever scene he’s in. I even tried to change a scene to allow Igris more airtime, but Magnus said, “hell to the no.” He needed to be front and center. And is shows because more than once she’s told me she loves everything out of his mouth. Ridoc from Fourth Wing meets Magnus from Shadowhunters.

Side Note: yes, I got the name from this series and the two might be a little similar but different. And, yes, my Magnus’s shoppe is called Bane Consortium, but that is after my Battlefield 3, and every shooter game, squad name. I wanted to honor my gaming friends as I do with all of my friend groups. I have little easter eggs throughout and would be more than happy to highlight all of them at some point.

I also wasn’t planning for the main love interests to hook up in this novel and there was a good chance they weren’t going to in the second book either because of where I see it going (sorry, no spoilers). Well, my FMC and MMC heard that and said that wasn’t going to happen. I still struggle writing spice (think of Alice Janney in 10 Things I Hate About You), I have no problem creating my own, it’s a matter of putting pen to paper and sharing with the class, especially when my friends and family will be reading this. It’s getting easier though thanks to all these other wonderful authors who write spice beautifully.

I’ll get there. Just need to keep writing and reading. That I can definitely do!

http://pinterest.com/valeriejdana

The other struggle with connecting to my world in HW was because I thought I had to commission artists to draw up exactly what I wanted. That I wouldn’t be able to use photos of people or locations that inspired my story (I was new to all of this and a classic overthinking, I also didn’t have anyone else to brainstorm marketing with like I do now). Since then Pinterest has been a lifesaver. I’ve created boards for each of the novels I’m working on with sub-boards that breaks the book down further into characters and locations. In two days I’ve doubled/tripled my boards for each novel, including expanding on future works that have been dancing around in my head.

It’s also a great distraction because the first rule of being an indie author is to do everything but actually write in the name of writing.

https://www.youtube.com/@WordCountsNWingspans

TikTok is great for that and another tool in marketing. BookTok is a great place to build your brand as an author and share all those photos you found on Pinterest to inspire your work. At least that’s what I’ve seen and have done myself. It’s easy and a great way to get seen without posting your face if you don’t like that. I’m still on the face. Although starting this Podcast with my best friend has definitely helped.

It’s all getting me seen, which in turn will get my books seen as I talk about them. It’s a slow burn, but who doesn’t enjoy that trope. Baby steps as I find what works for me. I’ll let you know what’s helped and what hasn’t on this second half of this journey. I can tell you the biggest thing I know I need to work on and that’s posting daily on socials. Even posting weekly here as well as YouTube. Consistency.

Oh on top of that I need to find time to work on my novels as well as work my actual job. Maybe one day I’ll be able to cut back on my hours (get that school nurse position) and focus more on my writing dream. Until then energy drinks and coffee it is.

Until next week (🤔)! And remember you’re never too old to follow your dreams!